I've been in a much better mood since I started working out again. I think before that was a better mood too but I don't know why. Maybe cause I'm also making food for myself again.
I'm feeling really good about how things are going, but I feel immense failure when I let something slip – like not sending a follow-up email that I should have.
This week I didn't spend as much time on Paloma as I wanted to. I actually didn't have any plans any night this week and expected it to be all working, but doubling up is hard to do. Instead I worked out three times already and have felt more productive in the days. One week away from full-time and I can't wait, but at the same time I have a lot that needs to get done before then so time is not a great friendly concept at the moment.
I got coffee with Natalie today and it was fantastic. I realize that the friends I have in NY took time to make and they care about me and I care about them, but they're not all my people and I've struggled with that, with forcing it to work with people that aren't the right things for me or vice versa. Anyway, I feel really lucky now to have a group of people (god bless the internet) that feel like good kinda caring people that there's a common understanding with. And while there isn't the same personal one-to-one closeness across the board, there kind of is in a way because of how much people care. I guess the baseline is just higher. I'm not explaining this well but it feels really good and like some sort of compensation for my deep struggles with relationships over the years. These people are genuine and good.
A man dm'd me on twitter trying to have a conversation about issues with sexism and I don't care. I responded to him and then he followed up and I just it's exhausting. I don't know what you're looking for from me. I don't know who you are, and you don't seem super interested in getting to know me and I just don't understand. I stopped responding.
I need to sleep and hopefully get up early. There's a lot to do :)